We are often told to plan and prepare for things in life, but I have found out that we can’t plan for everything. One of them being motherhood. I didn’t know what questions to ask before I became I mom. I lost my mom at the tender age of 14 years shortly after I got my first period. Obviously, I had no business trying to understand what birthing me was like or learn how my mother coped postpartum. One, because it just never occurred to me to ask and two, I believed like many things in life, we just figure it out like everyone else.
Below are 6 things I wish I was privy to before I became a mom.
- Your social life will go down the drain. This is true for the most part (at the beginning) if you have more than one child. Not to discourage you but if you do get a social life again it will be way after the kiddos are done potty training. For some, the girl’s night out trips may come to a complete halt or require you to return home earlier than usual to resume mom duties.
- Your bedtime will change. If you like your sleep, motherhood will teach you that sleep is overrated (haha). Your body becomes used to your new sleep cycle and adjusts accordingly. You may start to go to bed earlier to get in some hours before baby wakes up or you might sleep later to catch up on alone time.
- Your sex and intimacy life will change. This is something you and your partner should be prepared for. You will sometimes choose sleep over sex because of how exhausted you are. Whatever you do, try to keep sex alive and intimacy going, even if you have to schedule it. Once the kiddos are all grown and leave the house, you don’t want your sex life to have suffered so much that it has become almost non-existent at the time your children are in college. It happens.
- You will never think you can love someone as much as you love your child. This is so true. No one will have to explain this or go into much detail here. Having a child will give you a new perspective and outlook on life. Especially for the new mom. You will not only love your child so much but also be loved by them tremendously. It’s such a beautiful feeling.
- Your marriage/relationship will be tested. This is where having a child with the right partner pays off. As a new mom, all you need is support and some more. When you have a partner, who doesn’t help or support your motherhood journey, it could be dangerous. It is advisable to discuss what kind of parenting style you two want to adapt to raise your child(ren) ahead of time. It is also imperative that your goals and values align otherwise a raising a child differently can tear you both apart.
- You become an afterthought. Your self-wellness regimen and regular self-care treats will reduce. Not because you don’t feel like being pampered or taking care of yourself but because life as a mom is hard work and consumes a lot of your energy and time. Nonetheless, try to squeeze in time for yourself and stay healthy. Because a healthy mama means a healthy and happy child.
Moms, stay encouraged, you are doing just fine. Your life will become so different but in a good way. Live it.